Madam Kighal's Astrology

Entering the Shell

Cancer Moon makes a great partner - warm, loving, affectionate, caring and protective.
They can be very nurturing in their approach to relationships, as one would expect from a Moon in the sign that symbolizes mother and home. This caring extends to close friends, family members, lovers - anyone who has been patient enough to be accepted into the inner sanctum of their emotional being.

Cancer Moons make affectionate partners and, like other Water signs, are hopeless romantics. They love to be courted, or to do the courting, and can be quite lavish and demonstrative when it comes to creating a good impression. If you have caught the eye of a Cancer Moon, expect flowers and lots of little whatnots that say 'I love you'. If you do get some thing, don't forget to show lots of appreciation, especially for the thoughtfulness and originality of their choice.

If you do forget, it is easy and natural for a Cancer to bear a grudge for a long time - especially when they feel neglected or that their reputation has been injured. If this happens they will make strong efforts to publicize their version of the story, well before you have even thought of acting. They won't forget it, either. Cancer Moons have an amazing memory, especially when it comes to affairs of the heart. In a moment, they con recall the slightest detail about an exchange you had with them when you first met 15 years ago (try your best to remember please), or even the way they felt when you forgot something important to them, which was relatively trivial to others. In more difficult cases, the memory of a relationship gone wrong can bind them to repeat negative behaviour patterns by unconsciously seeking similar situations. To avoid this, the Cancer Moon needs to consciously confront their hurt and let go of it to avoid becoming bitter and limiting the scope for future emotional contentment.

Their long memory can skew their perceptions not because they are emotionally rooted, but because they tend to look forward by looking at the past. This is port of their protective mechanism - they don't want to go to unsafe places and they tend to judge the new by reaching for what they know. They love to take stock of a situation by comparing it to past experiences, and often wistfully enjoy reminiscing about major events and milestones in their lives. If they are consciously aware of this tendency, they can use it to further their life aims by visualizing positive experiences and validations, projecting them forward in time away from the current situation. This is especially helpful when they are facing challenging and threatening circumstances. The downside of Cancer Moons' great memories can affect their relationships when, for instance, a new friend or lover is unintentionally made to feel that they either have to live up to the past or to do better - which, as we all know, is a real pain. The best way to deal with this is to be sweetly direct and point it out to them. In doing so, remember that they are sensitive and even if they don't immediately acknowledge that they heard you, they probably did.

Side-Stepping Together

This leads us to another sticky defence mechanism of Cancer Moons - the tendency to side-step important issues. This is hard wired into a Cancer Moon, and is symbolized by the crab's side ways walking. So Cancer Moons tend to manoeuvre around delicate issues instead of hitting them head on. This can be quite misleading because their erstwhile polished approach, aided by some level of diplomacy, can give you the appearance that they are dealing with the issues. Add into this some measure of that nurturing feel-good factor of Cancer and it is easy to walk away thinking that everything is resolved, when in fact they have done a good deflecting job, keeping you and the difficulty at bay.
It is not helped by the fact that emotional reactions are often suppressed with Cancer Moons until the point where they just have to vent their feelings - which can then seem distorted in relation to the issue, or inappropriate in. terms of timing. Good timing is not always a Cancer Moon's strong point, as they tend to second-guess themselves, seeking to ensure that every step forward is a sure one.

How to deal with all this side-stepping? Mentally picture yourself sitting near them. If you can, and they are comfortable, move over and actually sit next to them. Take a piece of paper and outline the problem. Look at it together. Give them a sense that you are with them in dealing with the problem, not trying to get inside their hard shell to the soft, tender bits. Also, be ready to read between the lines. If Gemini Moon is a riddle wrapped in mystery inside an enigma, the Cancer Moon is just a mystery and likes to keep it that way. With a little practice, though, you will get to know their individual way of communicating.

When you are communicating back, directness hardly ever works, unless you have earned their undying, implicit and abundant trust - which usually takes a good deal of time. Just as a crab scurries quickly into its hole in the sand or shoots into a crevice as the surf breaks, so a Cancer Moon will head for the nearest exit when a direct aim is taken. Whether the exit is physical or effected by dispersing a distracting chaff of small talk, you can be sure that the straight approach almost never works.

In fact, Cancer Moons can do with a few tips on self-expression and how to create clear understandings in their relationships. Part of the challenge comes from those moments when the emotional sea swells with too many issues at once. This creates confusion and a jumble of feelings that they find difficult to sort out for themselves, not to mention expressing them clearly to others. Once they create an emotional order they are better equipped to talk about them sensibly. But don't expect a quick result with this. In the meantime, if confused, a Cancer Moon can communicate in a peculiar way and it can be frustrating for them when they fail to get the agreement of those around them. This is because they will often draw conclusions for you, without explaining the logic that brought them there. Trying to get this out of them can be tricky, so it's probably best to coax it out bit by bit. Cancer Moons dislike the unexpected, especially if it highlights their weaknesses, but when they do open up (thanks to your coaxing), they are usually pleasantly surprised at the positive reception. This can help them build confidence and assure them that taking risks has its good side.

Sailing the Seas of Love

The Cancer Moon is logically then a sometimes moody sign, prone to melancholy and expressing their emotions almost in synch with the rising tides and waning and waxing Moons. They ore very lunar and very sensitive to nature and their surroundings. In a relationship with a Cancer Moon, you can help them avoid succumbing to negative moods, self-pity and melancholic indulgences. At the same time, it's important to know that they need them now and then. It's akin to emotional housekeeping - clearing away rubble by digging their hands in it. The best way to get them out of it is to remind them that they will miss out on opportunities if they get stuck in the wallow of 'poor me'. Another way to help them is to get them to open up about what ails them. Of course, this is not easy, but you can try and in the trying they will feel your support and may decide to share their problems with you.

If you are the problem and are guilty of creating the hurt, then it con be a challenge finding a way out and, depending on the level of their passions, you can expect them to need a chance to work through it with you on their terms. The trick for you will be knowing when this happens because it is a Cancer Moon's nature to keep things to themselves and store those hurts well away from prying eyes and busybodies. Then one of these hurts can unexpectedly bubble to the surface and catch you unaware. When this happens, acknowledge it and rather than challenge them with 'Why haven't you mentioned this before?', compliment them and express amazement at how long-suffering they have been. If you find this too much to handle, then it's going to be a challenge dealing with a Cancer Moon.

If a Cancer Moon is hurt they can express it by 'pinching' you - much as you would expect from a crab. The idea is to give you just enough hurt to let you know they are hurting. It may sound funny, but Cancer Moons may even like to pinch their lovers affectionately (maybe it will be love bites). If you are not within arm's reach, then a good substitute is a well-placed remark launched with just the right amount of stealth - not too obvious and giving them enough time to retreat.

If you are the one needing emotional succor, however, and are lucky enough to make your way into the heart of a Cancer Moon, you will find a soft, cozy, emotional resting place that offers a chance for healing and long-lasting growth. Once they let you inside, the Cancer Moon offers an experience like no other - a fluid, sweet, dreamy, undulating sea of nurturing emotions. Imagine the emotional equivalent of a Pre-Raphaelite painting and you have a clue to the romantic tempo of their feelings.
Cancer Moons love to encircle their loved one in a protective cocoon. Depending on who you are, this can be either good or bad. If you need security and thrive on help and protection, it's great. If you want a lot of freedom, and have a 'let's take it easy' approach, then you could find the warm embrace of a Cancer Moon too constrictive. In any case, at times you will have to put your foot down and stand up for your individuality, your own space and your own ideas. When a Cancer Moon indulges their bossy side, you could feel that it's their world and you just happen to be in it. Or maybe it's their movie and you are an extra - an important one, but an extra nevertheless. If the Cancer Moon knew you felt this way they would be horrified. That's the last thing they want for you - 'Just trying to help.' So, if you end up feeling hemmed in, to avoid rows, just be honest and spread your wings. Breaking free of the confines of the Cancer shell now and then doesn't have to mean demolishing it, just building on exten sion, for you. But ask them if they also want to break out and fly in the stars of the night sky. Otherwise they may feel left out.

In mature adult relationships this should not be a problem, just another move you make in the Cancer Moon cosmic dance. If, however, you are young and have a Cancer Moon parent there will be times when you will feel limited by the social expectations put on you - especially if you are coming to that age where you need to fly the nest. Remember, keeping up appearances is very important to Cancer Moons, so if you want to let your hair down, do it in a way that takes this into account.

A Cancer Moon makes a wonderful, caring and giving partner. If you can learn to play by the rules of their secret game of life, you will have a strong, loyal and sweet-natured ally. A relationship with a Cancer Moon, whether a romance or friendship, offers a lot and expects a lot. It's for people who love security, closeness and romance, and who are able to give it all back to their Cancer Moon partner in regular and equal measure.